Yes, this is what I chose to follow up The Wrestler. A movie that is aptly designed, to use a quote, to grind my gears, and to twist me into a ball of mass frustration, as if I'm not half way home already. This is a movie adaptation of a TV show which finished a number of years ago, and essentially has its entire duration of women running around shopping and getting on with their lives, in that order. Anyway, the plot goes that Carrie Bradshaw, the lead character of the series and this movie, plans on getting hitched to her long term boyfriend, and in the ensuing mayhem, gets through alot of clothes while she is at it. There are all the plot details that will ever be needed, because let's face it, there is an underlying message which is blatantly obvious and forever prominently running through the piece. However, that is a gripe of which I will momentarily bypass. To focus on the goods, the film isn't exactly the rant that I was expecting coming in, only triggering a minor eruption. Each of the lead characters are charming characters, played appropriately by each of the actresses portraying them. It is because of this charm that you become sort of hypnotised and repulsed from all negative feelings to be got from the product placement, and that the movie, in some parts, I would go so far as to say is good. Personally, I feel that there is enough worthy material to garner a sixty-minute one off special, but unfortunately, this was a two-and-a-half hour movie, and that is where the problems start. It is most certainly to me an overly-long film. By the time the first hour went by, I was beginning to check the time display to see as to how long was left. Once you think that the story is going to end, it goes on and on and on, and you are just sitting there thinking “is it just me or has the whole world gone mad?” I mean, at times Sex and the City doesn’t even really count as a movie in the classical sense. This would have been a passable chick flick, which would have been rather enjoyable. With this, there is just too much. The only thing that really kept me going was the fact that the characters were enjoyable to watch. I mean, they are charming, charismatic and it is easy to see why middle-aged women would buy into this stuff. Despite its epic in the worst way running time, that is by no means the film’s worst problem. The worst problem that it has is the product placement/fashion as a plot device or dramatic dialogue. For example, at the beginning, Carrie gets an offer to do a photo shoot with Vogue as “The Last Single Girl” before she gets married. In this it becomes obvious that the product placement and disgusting materialism has taken over and is now actually being used as an excuse to create a story. For starters, I have a real problem with people placing emphasis on materialism, so the idea of them walking around shops all day didn’t appeal to me at first. Personally, I could buy it at first because it is lovable characters that are doing this, and as you are drawn in as though you are going on this ridiculous extravaganza with them. But whenever there is a genuine story to be told, and the fashion takes pole position over that, do we have problems. Example of dialogue, “you have gave me a new life.” “You gave me Louis Vuitton.” Stop. Now that’s where the line is drawn. You may say that it’s the message behind the dialogue that counts, but that’s like saying “I hate you” has the same message in any context as “I love you.” I mean, that is a perfect example of product placement and materialism which is pre-eminent throughout the film. Before this film, I had never heard of Louis Vuitton. Now I will never forget Louis Vuitton. Some may say that that is a good thing, proving that as a memorable line. It is not memorable in a good way. It is memorable in the worst way, because in the midst of what was a genuinely lovely scene, we have this boom-boom bombardment of Louis Vuitton handbags and you just don’t buy it. God forbid, Louis Vuitton are now eventually probably going to make money off of me if I get into a relationship, and have a lot of money, because subconsciously I will remember “You gave me Louis Vuitton,” which really means “You will buy Louis Vuitton,” and I swear to God if anyone says that to me in a moment of seriousness in a relationship, I will punch them in the gut. I’m sorry; this film makes me very cross. Quite obviously, it wasn’t going to be a masterpiece, but with the charm of the lead actresses it could have been so much more than “You gave me Louis Vuitton”-esque materialism.
The Thin White Dude’s Prognosis – 2.6/10