The Thin White Dude's Reviews - The Lords Of Salem

Directed by: Rob Zombie

Produced by: Jason Blum

Andy Gould

Oren Pell

Steven Schneider

Rob Zombie

Screenplay by: Rob Zombie

Starring: Sheri Moon Zombie

Bruce Davison

Jeff Daniel Phillips

Ken Foree

Patricia Quinn

Dee Wallace

Maria Conchita Alonso

Judy Geeson

Meg Foster

Music by: John 5

Cinematography by: Brandon Trost

Editing by: Glenn Garland

Studio(s): Entertainment One

Automatik Entertainment

Haunted Films

IM Global

Blumhouse Productions

Distributed by: Anchor Bay Films

Release date(s): September 10, 2012 (Canada, Toronto International Film Festival)

April 19, 2013 (United Kingdom, London)

April 19, 2013 (United States, limited)

Running time: 101 minutes

Country(s): United States

United Kingdom

Canada

Language: English

Production budget: $1.5 million

Box-office revenue: $1, 165, 882

Aloha, what's been occupying me for the past couple of days is drumming up a new Curriculum Vitae. It's been a while since I've actually had to do one, and the fact is I surprised myself how much I've got done over the past few years. Looking at it, it's like "hey, I've actually got the qualifications prospective employers are looking and now, despite all those years of hard work to attain gainful employment, they're still going to turn me down, so thanks for asking!" Cynicism aside, one of the things that doesn't change is the fact that I'm fanatical about films, and so, for all the latest and greatest in the movies, keep your eyes posted.

Today's film up for thorough digestion (why I always use food metaphors when my diet is way out there is beyond me) is The Lords Of Salem. The latest film from Rob Zombie, it came out in the United States in 2012 but was released on these shores in Spring of this year, and therefore I can review it as a 2013 film. For those of you who don't know, I'm a Rob Zombie guy through and through. Having been a fan of both White Zombie and his solo work as a musician for many years, I'll admit though to not being too privy to his filmography. House Of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects are unfortunate blips in my many years of movie watching, and the only film I have seen of his is the 2007 remake of Halloween, half of which is a bold retelling of the Michael Myers mythos, the other half a tired remake of the original film. However, with Zombie there is something about his aesthetics that even in it's weaker incarnations agrees with me, so, with that being said, here comes the plot synopsis: in Salem, Massachusetts, Heidi Laroq (Sheri Moon Zombie) works as a DJ at a hard-rock station with her co-workers Whitey (Jeff Daniel Phillips) and Herman (Ken Foree). She receives a wooden box addressed to her in real name, which contains a record that when played, causes Heidi to experience horrific visions and from this point on, all manner of strange things start happening. That's not me being lazy, by the way, I just prefer for people to discover it themselves. If you want to know the whole plot going in, there's Wikipedia for that!

So, starting with the good, as I've mentioned, aesthetically I'm very much in sync with Rob Zombie, but I have to say I maintained objectivity throughout. Despite this, I think that from a directorial standpoint this is a bold, audacious horror picture that operates with a unique identity, not holding back from any current trend or tradition operating in much of the scourge that is contemporary horror cinema. Zombie also has a respect for the art form, and there are clear steps towards the grandiose vision a la Ken Russell that I believe he will achieve at some point with his filmmaking. Obviously, with the central plot, it invokes the likes of Suspiria, Witchfinder General, Haxan and various films of the like, and most clearly it has similarities with the folk devils and moral panics of Arthur Miller's The Crucible. However, instead of a socio-politcal picture, Zombie goes for a cerebral rain of blood, immersing us completely in the atmosphere of the story. In this regard, the movie has many strong points. Some of the editing techniques, oftentimes simplistic by design, are surprisingly effective. The use of freeze-frames and intertitles, presented in stylistically basic black and white, make the film feel like something very unadulterated and with a prescient sense of dread. Also, the sound editing of the movie is interesting, the mixing playing with you on a level that ensures the audience has an awareness of it, but it is subtle enough to work on an almost subconscious level. In this way, it conjuncts well with the musical score by John 5, so that you are (appropriately) unaware of what is the score and sound design/editing. The most interesting thing about the music in the film is that it does operate on a traditional composition level, but that the sounds are different, with much of it being a drone-based work, voices being tweaked in the editing suite and instruments such as the guitar being altered so dramatically to the point that not only is not near unrecognisable, it's downright alien aurally. Also, The Lords' theme itself is a genuinely demonic bit of work, reminding atmospherically of the atmosphere that comes with the band Painkiller, in terms of inducing a palpable sense of real nastiness. Finally, some praise must be garnered on Sheri Moon Zombie in the lead role as Heidi. In terms of a physical embodiment of a character, she moves around with a power that gives Heidi a legitimate credence and presence. The character has to go through a lot, and she (as an actress) keeps in sync with all the movements rather well. It's a believable and genuine performance.

While I will gladly heap praise on certain aspects of The Lords Of Salem, it is deeply problematic in other regards, which do drag it down from being the horror masterpiece it aspires to be and Rob Zombie could quite possibly have achieved. The first of the two major issues I have to flag up is the script by Zombie. Don't get me wrong, he is a director with a real vision, but the fact still remains that the script is pretty dire. The plot moves in rather predictable ways, going into the proverbial mouth of madness without a shred of deviation from the formats we have come to expect (perpetual awakening from dream-states tend to lose their effect five times over). Furthermore, the characters are not thoroughly fleshed out, with their arcs lacking something really meaty and the sense of the conflicting forces in the film just acting as serviceable tropes to get the film from point A to point B. This is a real shame, given that the final movement is a wonderful example of pure cinema, but you have to get through a lot of boring, perfunctory scenes to get there. Rob, I love your work, but I can't help but think what someone like Clive Barker would have made of writing a screenplay from Zombie's central story. Furthermore, although I loved the final movement, much of the film is badly lit. The cinematography by Brandon Trost is, ever during the daytime, shot as though The Turin Shroud has been thrown over the top of the camera as a lens filter. Don't get wrong, there's darkness films to create atmosphere, but not only does it already have that, this film is so dark that a lot of the time though you feel something, you can't tell what it is that's there. This was a problem of Trost's present in This Is The End, and it translates over unfortunately to The Lords Of Salem. Finally, although I think at times cinematic space is used well, the design and set decoration feels small, not in the sense of claustrophobic but rather boxy and weak.

Ultimately, because of a combination of it's praiseworthy qualities (direction, sound design/editing, musical score and central performance) and some inherent problems (script, cinematography, boxy production design and set decoration), I came out of The Lords Of Salem with mixed feelings. Zombie describes the film as "if Ken Russell directed The Shining," and while I have to admire him for his audaciousness, Zombie never reaches the heights of said film and Russell's masterwork The Devils, which the movie is clearly in dept to. An atmosphere will only go so far without the fundamentals of a solid structural base, but as it stands it's a decent enough work. 

The Thin White Dude's Prognosis - 5.5/10

The Thin White Dude's Self-Diagnosis - Flagellating (my brain. Listening Painkiller's stellar Guts Of A Virgin/Buried Secrets EPs)

The Lords Of Salem Trailer

The Thin White Dude's Movie Of The Month: October 2013 - Rush

Rush is one of the best movies of the year, comprising of so many elements (the cinematography, the editing, the screenplay, the music, the mise-en-scene, and, of course, the extraordinary lead performances by Chris Hemsworth and Daniel Bruhl) making up the tapestry of this masterpiece. The collaborative nature of cinema is proven many times over by the efforts of those involved making the best film possible. Rush delivers drama and action in equal doses, and is about as good a mainstream film that audiences are likely to see this year.

The Thin White Dude's Prognosis - 9.2/10

Runner-Up: Filth - A beautifully seamless pop-art tableau, Filth is one of the ballsiest films of the year and boasts an immersive lead in James McAvoy.

Honourable Mention: Prisoners - Doom-laden, gothic and pitch black, Prisoners is a complex mood piece dissecting the potential of evil in the everyday lives of real people.

Second-Most Deadly Disease: Sanitarium - There are merits ('Down To The Last Man' is a memorable short), but unfortunately this anthology horror has more bad than good.

Avoid Like The Plague: Devils Of War - At moments outrageously bad, Devils Of War fails as a movie in pretty much all regard.

The Thin White Dude's Reviews - The Purge

Directed by: James DeMonaco

Produced by: Michael Bay

Jason Blum

Andrew Form

Bradley Fuller

Sebastien Kurt Lemercier

Screenplay by: James DeMonaco

Starring: Ethan Hawke

Lena Headey

Max Burkholder

Adelaide Kane

Edwin Hodge

Rhys Wakefield

Tony Oller

Arija Bareikis

Music by: Nathan Whitehead

Cinematography by: Jacques Jouffret

Editing by: Peter Gvozdas

Studio(s): Platinum Dunes

Blumhouse Productions

Media Rights Capital

Why Not Productions

Distributed by: Universal Pictures

Release date(s): May 2, 2013 (United States, Stanley Film Festival)

May 31, 2013 (United Kingdom & Ireland)

June 7, 2013 (United States)

Running time: 85 minutes

Country: United States

Language: English

Production budget: $3 million

Box office revenue (as of publication): $87, 043, 336

Well, it seems that my little Halloween errand of watching specifically horror movies has gone a bit belly up, for I haven't watched that many, so the fact is is that I am going to bump them over to the month of November. After this review, I will do a review of the month for October (in terms of overall quality, it's the best month I've had so far this year), and proceed on with great diligence to the task ahead of my articles on Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci. As I've said before, I'm gonna be spicing this blog up a bit, so keep your eyes posted!

(Those are getting harder to write all the time: it's like I'm starting to jinx them) So, today's movie up for review is The Purge, a horror movie released earlier in the year that made $87 million off of it's $3 million. Going in, the hooker for me was definitely the central concept (more of which in synopsis), which sounds interesting on paper, but what's not so interesting is the fact that the film was produced by Platinum Dunes, a production company that don't have a track record for making great horror movies but instead taking the ideas from them, remaking them dirt cheap and getting a big cash profit off of them. I personally am dreading their upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Synopsis time: the year is 2022, with the United States having become 'a nation reborn' with crime and unemployment at an all-time low, a phenomenon attributed to the eponymous Purge, an annual twelve-hour period during which all criminal activity is deemed legal. Ethan Hawke plays James Sandin, a wealthy home security salesman who lives in a well-off area in San Francisco, California, along with his wife Mary (Lena Headey) and their two children, Zoey (Adelaide Kane) and Charlie (Max Burkholder). However, things go a bit awry, when during their lockdown for The Purge, Zoey's older boyfriend Henry (Tony Oller) has snuck into the house, and Charlie lets a homeless man (Edwin Hodge) asking for help into the house. A group of Purgers led by a polite man in a business suit (Rhys Wakefield) show up the house, demanding that they return to them the homeless man, or their house and they themselves will become part of The Purge. Voulez-vous?

Starting with the good here, I've already mentioned it but I'll go into detail about the fact that I like the central concept of The Purge. The concept harks back to a time in the late 1960s/1970s when horror filmmakers like Tobe Hooper, George Romero, Wes Craven, David Cronenberg and John Carpenter were making nasty little low-budget movies that were intensely political and a reflection of the times around them. The Purge's central concept challenges us with a simple but effective moral quandary, played out by the familial interactions and whether or not The Purge is indeed a legitimate catharsis for Americans or if there is something very amiss. Furthermore, although I don't think it's a perfect performance in either capacity (more of which later), I have to express some sort of admiration for writer-director James DeMonaco for actually trying to make an intelligent horror movie that expresses something above and beyond a cheap scare. Don't get me wrong, I love horror movies, but I think that DeMonaco shows more respect for the genre and it's capabilities than most. Also, in his debut as a DP, Jacques Jouffret, who has worked as a camera operator on numerous films of Platinum Dunes cohort Michael Bay, gives the film an interesting array of lighting techniques. On the one hand, it has this sheen that empathises the wealth and good-living lifestyles of it's protagonists, but at various points the movie is well-lit in near darkness, something which is balanced out very well in that the atmosphere is retained while you are still able to get what is going on. The best thing about The Purge as a whole though are the actors playing the family. Adelaide Kane and Max Burkholder are really good as the children, and Lena Headey is convincing as ever as Mary, especially in putting over the moral argument of the film, but the big land of the film is Ethan Hawke. Despite always being an understated actor and a great screen presence, Hawke is at the right age to play the part of Sandin and is nothing if not perfect for the role. The position he is in in the story means that he is the one who does most of the basil exposition. He does it well, and because his character has made the decision to endorse The Purge and reap the financial benefits of it, Hawke has the tough job to pull off of a guy trying to convince himself of his own bullshit as the sanctuary he has built around him and his family, ultimately an illusion, comes crashing down because of the world he and many others of his kind have made reality. It is through Ethan Hawke that we are able to ascertain all these ideas of good and evil, the potential monstrousness of humanity and what have you, and his performance here is the highlight of the movie, not unlike Woody Harrelson last year in Rampart, an Atlas carrying the celestial sphere upon his shoulders.

Now, while I do hold a sort-of admiration for The Purge because it is a horror movie that is about people and tries to something, ultimately in execution I feel it is not as successful as is intended. As I perhaps indicated earlier, while DeMonaco attempts to hark towards the tradition of social horror films, it is nowhere near as pertinent in achieving it's aims as something like Night Of The Living Dead, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Shivers etc. Also, a lot has been made in the press about the film's violence, in particular I'd like to point you towards an Observer article by Rex Reed entitled Brainless Brutality. Not to be au contraire, but I feel personally that they didn't go far enough. There is something about it that feels restrained, as though the message is being suffocated by the cliches and predictabilities Platinum Dunes want to fulfil their production quotas. It's a shame, because I think that the right direction for this to go would be along the lines of 1972's The Last House On The Left, a movie of great savagery but of a pertinent social message, making the movie on the fly as opposed to operating under the banner of Platinum Dunes. At risk of sounding like a nostalgist, but there was a time whenever movies could genuinely shock, stir up controversy and still contain an important message. I can't remember a horror movie that felt really dangerous. It's has been six long years since The Mist and The Orphanage came out around the same time, and five since the last horror masterpieces in Let The Right One In and Martyrs, so please excuse the rant, but I expect more! Another issue with The Purge is the 'original' score by Nathan Whitehead. It's interesting that given his previous work in video games, a medium that requires a good bit of incidental music, that the incidental music in this movie is some of the most turgid and uninspired I've heard this year. I make no bones about my hypersensitive hearing and about how it has effect on my judgements, but at what point did it become acceptable to just roll out the same tired aural cliches over and over, nigh on repeat? It's like "yes, I see the strange person on the camera, I don't need the volume cranked up to eleven in order to establish a credible level of tension!" Whitehead has just taken the worst cliche book of horror movie scoring and just copied it out near word-for-word, and as much as I think the movie as a whole is compromised, Whitehead's loathsome score is enough to give someone with my strange sensitivities a tin ear. 

The Purge has it's problems. It's a movie that for me doesn't go far enough in pushing its social message, feels compromised, and is quashed and undercut by a horrendous score from Nathan Whitehead. However, despite these issues, it's a relatively serviceable horror movie. I admire writer-director James DeMonaco for actually trying to do something in delivering a horror movie with a social message. Furthermore, it's well-shot and the acting, particularly that of Ethan Hawke, is of a quality standard, and this elevates what would be a banal genre movie into a decent watch.

The Thin White Dude's Prognosis - 5.6/10

The Thin White Dude's Self-Diagnosis - Buzzin' (voracious activity abound!)

The Purge Trailer

The Thin White Dude's Reviews - Prisoners

Directed by: Denis Villeneuve

Produced by: Broderick Johnson

Kira Davis

Andrew A. Kosove

Adam Kolbrenner

Mark Wahlberg

Screenplay by: Aaron Guzikowski

Starring: Hugh Jackman

Jake Gyllenhaal

Viola Davis

Maria Bello

Terrence Howard

Melissa Leo

Paul Dano

Music by: Johann Johannsson

Cinematography by: Roger A. Deakins

Editing by: Joel Cox

Gary D. Roach

Studio: Alcon Entertainment

Distributed by: Warner Bros. Pictures (United States/International)

Paramount Pictures (United Kingdom)

Release date(s): August 30, 2013 (Telluride Film Festival)

September 20, 2013 (United States)

September 27, 2013 (United Kingdom)

Running time: 153 minutes

Country: United States

Language: English

Production budget: $46 million

Box-office revenue (as of publication): $101, 527, 401

As I say time and time again, things are happening on this blog, and perhaps that's my way of saying that a wave of change is coming over me personally. I don't know if everyone has had this kind of feeling, perhaps if they have it's described in different words or not even words at all, but I do feel this slow tectonic shift in my being. I'm at a stage of transition which sees the paths in front of me undecided. To bring me back down to Earth from my metaphysical pedestal (and by way of referencing a certain movie - half a brownie point considering how much I go on about it!), "The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves." So, for more existentialist rambles, and the odd bit of chatter regarding the latest and greatest in the movies, keep your eyes posted!

So, today's movie up for analysis is Prisoners, which has since it's release shaped itself up as a potential Oscar contender. It has been well-received, and two people who I know personally have recommended the film to me, but, as ever, perception is in the eye of the beholder, so, we'll see what way I fall with this one. Concerning the abduction of two girls, taken during a Thanksgiving dinner in Pennsylvania and the ramifications that this has on the people around it, Prisoners stars Hugh Jackman as Keller Dover, a deeply religious man and father of one of the two girls, and stops at nothing, including the law, in the search for his daughter, and with Detective Loki (Jake Gyllenhaal) conducting his own investigation into the crime(s), paths cross, weave and bounce off one another in this procedural thriller. Shall we dance?

To start off with the good about the film, the ensemble cast is excellent. Hugh Jackman is someone, for anyone who'll listen, I hold in high regard, and his performance here as Keller is one of the best of his career. Using that natural charisma that he brings to the table, Jackman draws us in to empathising greatly with his character's plight, which puts us as an audience in a real moral quandary when he starts doing monstrous things in order to catch the criminal involved. Furthermore, the intensity level of his character is at times very shocking, especially given the control Jackman has over the volume of his voice; you can literally hear Keller's heart in his throat, revving up and down like a speedometer. Also terrific is Jake Gyllenhaal's performance as Detective Loki. Acting as the strong polarity to Jackman, Gyllenhaal calm demeanour and attempt's at objectivity bely someone underneath who probably feels hindered by the law yet abides fully by it. Using the most subtle yet telling facial expressions, such as this twitch of a strong blink that seems a force of habit of the character, Gyllenhaal gives this part real depth and complexity. Although those are the two standout performances of the film, I'll just rattle off a number of the other ones that I was impressed with. Viola Davis and Terence Howard are both strong as the neighbours and parents of the other child kidnapped, as is Maria Bello in the part of Grace Dover. Also good are Melissa Leo, Dylan Minnette, David Dastmalchian and Paul Dano, who proves once again that since Little Miss Sunshine he's a versatile actor and force to be reckoned with in his role as the man-child suspect Alex Jones. Each of these actors, no matter how big or small their part, does something important in the overall story, and for that screenwriter Aaron Guzikowski must be praised. This is a real character piece, no one being neglected or standing out as lacking in the piece, and this whole three-dimensionality that we see here is something unique. Furthermore, the way their stories weave in and out of each other structurally, with a scene featuring one person cutting to another, maintain a thematic consistency so that it feels natural to be bouncing between the various characters and that we have appropriate drive of forward momentum. Also, it's a real work of detail, quite clearly the fruit of one's long-term labours and a well-though out writing process, so kudos! The film was shot by the mighty Roger Deakins, one of the inductees into my hall of fame for cinematography. He steeps the picture in this pitch black atmosphere of darkness. This film is in many ways about the possibilities of evil and the inherent sin and corruption of humanity's soul, and Deakins is the one who gets this across by way of his visual language. The lighting is a sort-of DV update of expressionist techniques, and yet despite this it is firmly embedded in reality and never at any point inappropriately stylistic. It's muted, minimalist and yet subtly impressive in contributing to the film's tapestry. The film is scored by Icelandic composer Johann Johannsson, whose work I hadn't heard before this, but I will be sure to look up. It's a hybrid work full of the traditional things you might expect from a dramatic thriller, strings and woodwind abound and what have you, and I'm cool with Back/Hendel/Vivaldi-inflected baroque minimalism. However, you've also got this ethereal piece (Falling Through Snow - I noted my ears tuning to this during the movie) that's very close to the sound of a church organ, bringing me back a few years to the more religious years in my trysts with Catholicism, to tell you the truth, and it's a beautifully simple thing built from the ground up like a Philip Glass composition. Finally, Denis Villeneuve shines as a director able to control many different elements of a production. The native Quebecer's first English-language production could have seen his talent for drama being lost in translation, but what we get is a great, old-school thriller with a lot of things going for it.

Now, as you can well tell, there were a lot of things I liked about Prisoners, and I do think it was a great movie. However, there are a number of key issues that deny it from being a masterpiece. While I think that Joel Cox and Gary D. Roach (regular Clint Eastwood collaborators) did a good job of interweaving the various strands of the story, the film as a whole could have been chopped down. Roger Corman always said that most movies could do with about a third of it cut out, and while I don't think it's that bad, 120-130 mins would have suited the film far better. Unlike, say, Zodiac, this is a straight character/morality drama, lacking the sheer weight and meticulousness of David Fincher's masterpiece, and while that isn't an insult, it wouldn't be a detriment to the film to gauge the run time more appropriately. Equally, while I think that the screenplay is tremendous in many ways, some of the scenes drag on too long. If this movie was went through with a fine teeth comb so that nothing but the most stripped down bits of meat could get past, this would be watertight. Unfortunately, sometimes it feels at bursting point.

Despite my reservations regarding the overlong running time, which could have been refined through sharper cutting and fine tuning the script to perfection, Prisoners was a great movie. The ensemble cast is uniformly excellent, with Jackman and Gyllenhaal delivering some of the best work of their respective careers, and even with it's flaws, the script by Guzikowski is a masterfully structured character piece. The cinematography by Roger Deakins injects it with a pitch black atmosphere, almost akin in a visual sense to what Joy Division does for music, the same of which in many ways can be said of Johann Johannsson's score, which is a hybrid of orchestral baroque-inflected minimalism and electronic driven ethereal soundscapes, and director Denis Villeneuve does an admirable job of controlling so many tangible elements. Doom-laden, gothic and pitch black, Prisoners is a complex mood piece dissecting the potential of evil in the everyday lives of real people.

The Thin White Dude's Prognosis - 8.3/10

The Thin White Dude's Self-Diagnosis - Building (brick by brick...)

Prisoners Trailer

The Thin White Dude's Reviews - Devils Of War

Directed by: Eli Dorsey

Screenplay by: Eli Dorsey

Starring: Jerry L. Buxbaum

Lawrence Anthony

Jamin Watson

Jeremiah Grace

Carly Kingston

Apple Lee

Tim Harrold

Tyler Pesek

Jeff Richardson

Music by: Marcus V. Warner

Cinematography by: Peter Fuhrman

Editing by: Eli Dorsey

Studio: Paradise City Pictures

Distributed by: Automatic Entertainment (World-Wide, all media)

Rialto Distribution (Australia, DVD)

Signature Entertainment (United Kingdom, DVD)

Release date: April 15, 2013 (United Kingdom, straight-to-DVD)

Running time: 72 minutes

Country: United States

Language: English

Production budget: (N/A)

Box-office revenue (as of publication): (N/A)

Okay there, as you can tell, I haven't been doing as many reviews this week, although saying that I've been imbedded deeply in other film-related nonsense, such as indulging my pedantry by sorting out my movie collection. I surprised myself with the sheer amount of films that I have put it that way, but I'll not get into that. Presently, I'm reading Mark Kermode's new book Hatchet Job, and it's another one full of his astute observations, to use a well-trod term, and like The Good, The Bad And The Multiplex, it stands as proof that the art of legitimate film criticism, with constructed, objective and researched opinion(s) on the movies, is truly alive and well. Typing this as one of the Internet 'bloggers' who numerous critics bemoan for slowly driving the nails in the proverbial coffin of the art, while I believe in the democratisation of the craft, the opinions I respect and believe to be legitimate are those that do what all good critics do, research, develop, opine, qualify, conclude. They're no five rules by any means (I just picked them off the top of my head to be frank), but being as passionate about films as I am I believe it an obligation to not just go out there and talk waffle, something which I fail at rather admirably on a regular basis. I'm just gonna do a brief list of four 'online' critics who I think are doing a fine job at keeping up this tradition:

(In no particular order)

1. Hal C F Astell - Apocalypse Later: http://www.apocalypselaterfilm.com/ (Great writer, helped me out a while back when I was working on an essay on Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, cussing out my film studies department on informed academia in the process. A bit inflammatory on my part, but Astell certainly knows his stuff.)

2. Jason Bailey - Fourth Row Center: http://www.jason-bailey.com/ (At present the film editor for FlavourWire, Bailey is a veteran of fifteen years of film criticism whose succinct, measured yet personal responses are a testament to the medium.)

3. Daniel Kelly - Danland Movies: http://danlandmovies.blogspot.co.uk/ (What can I say, I'm admittedly biased towards the guy who I've been watching movies with for the guts of ten years, but his way with words, lively and engaging writing keeps you hooked, and the absurdist humour, if there can be such a thing in film criticism, make him a unique presence in the blogosphere.)

4. Roger Ebert - Roger Ebert.com: http://www.rogerebert.com/ (I know he's not technically a blogger, and the blogging èlite will be up with their pitchforks as much as traditional print critics, but Ebert was an innovator of the Internet way ahead of his time, and made use of this avenue to it's fullest. You can find over ten thousand reviews on his site, ensuring that his immeasurable presence will forever remain with us)

So, for all the latest and greatest in film, keep your eyes posted.

Without trying to break the line, or rather pretence of objectivity this early into the game, much as I love those four above critics, it could have subconsciously been a diversionary tactic to avoid getting into the review for today's film, Devils Of War. It's another film without a Wikipedia page (not that that's a bad thing, it just seems to be recurring of late as a rule of thumb on this blog), and although I gathered that it was from 2013, there was only one quote on the film I had to go on: on the front cover of the DVD, it reads "A Cult Classic - Iron Sky Meets Outpost." I can't say anything about Outpost because I haven't seen it, but for those of you who don't know, I really marked out for Iron Sky last year, which I thought was a ballsy and audacious sci-fi comedy. However, what struck me was that the quote had no source, as does just about every quote that's splashed on a poster or DVD, so as far as I'm concerned it's a work of self-mythologisation by the marketing department, because, lets face it, everything is a 'cult classic' these days. Speaking of direct quotes, here's one for the synopsis, because I'm conserving my energies for the review: "It's Poland, 1944 and a team of Special Forces soldiers are called up by FDR. Their mission... to stage a daring raid on a fortress where the Nazis are kidnapping women and experimenting with the occult to raise a demon army. Furious and inglorious, get ready to raise hell (the last phrase of which is plastered three times on the DVD case)." So, for an evaluation of this "cult classic" (I use those quote-marks because even if I'm sarcastic they could put my name to it for all their lack of sources!), let's get craicin'!

So, where do I start? I've spent the past five minutes looking at the Wikipedia page of The Room, and it's hard to find fresh inspiration in this film, and while it's nowhere near as ridiculous as that legitimate cult classic, it does have a number of very Room-esque moments. It has numerous little hokey things that are silly and scenes that are quite clearly designed to display the Ilsa-type Nazi woman's prominent cleavage (why not a relative close-up on her bare breasts instead of a medium shot?). One scene however stands out as one of the funniest moments in a film this year. They throw in your proverbial sex scene, but what makes it so absurd is the soundtrack playing some Marvin Gaye alike track on top, because, hey, the dude here is 'Black Hercules' on he's Black and we've gotta keep playing up on his Blackness throughout movie, and then comes well-trod killer line "I'm a virgin," despite the fact the character's played by a curvaceous model and such statements don't hold much validity. So, the only real thing to say in it's favour is that it's a short watch at seventy-two minutes and that it may hold a certain level of comedic value to those in who love the 'so bad it's good films' (although The Room, Battlefield Earth and anything by Ed Wood are the high-points of this ironic batch).

Despite there being the odd thing to get a laugh out of, Devils Of War is still for the most part just an outright bad movie without much of the humour involved in some of those films. I mean, heck, in it's own ways Scanners is a bad movie, but it just so happens to have a master in David Cronenberg and so many other things that give it real personality behind it. Devils Of War, however, is an attempted mish-mash of the elements of a number of different movies, and I don't have a problem with things being referential, but it has no personality of it's own. Obviously, there's invocations of Inglourious Basterds, and by way of that movie that of The Dirty Dozen, The Wild Geese et al, and the editing automatically attempts to conjure up the spirits of Sergio Leone and Sam Peckinpah, but does nothing but make them turn over in their graves, particularly with regards to the worst example of vehicular back projection since Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (wink wink!). Writer-director Eli Dorsey's work lacks the unique qualities to make the film stand out in it's own regard. The script is a horrendous piece with some of the worst dialogue I have heard in a long time, the scene and plot structure is all over the place (a local woman wants to shag one of 'The Basterds,' if you will, because she will be subject to the Nazis' experimentation), and any attempt at legitimate conflict or tension comes across as stilted and awkward, with resolutions coming rather too quickly. The acting on all fronts is terrible, Jerry L. Buxbaum's William Baldy the grizzled Richard Burton in the equation, but more akin expression wise to a Haliburton briefcase, Jamin Watson's charisma vacuum that is Black Hercules and Jeremiah Grace's racist hick Jasper doing nothing but leer and pull faces in a poor man's Klaus Kinski (not his fault, I might add.) Furthermore, I'm not German, but why is it that all of the actors portraying Germans have to inject their characters with massive levels of over-pronunciation? It's like "yes, we know that the 'w' is pronounced as a 'v,' but stop going overboard with this, the cow is well and truly milked." Bad, bad, bad, bleats the sheep! The music by Marcus V. Warner is another piece to add to the weave of this tapestry of terrible. Attempting to take a page from the Ennio Morricone-scored spaghetti westerns of the 1960s, the score not only doesn't fit the material, but in and of itself it just a bad bit of work. Full of horrendous incidental cues and themes that only have a consistency in that there will be maybe three-to-five chords played on an electric guitar, it's all over the shop and undercuts what is already a pretty shoddy production. There are a lot of things to be said about Devils Of War, but my conclusion with the issues lies with Eli Dorsey, who in both capacities as writer-director failed to control all the contingent elements that come with the film. These reference points are a splurge of nonsensical bits as opposed to anything of coherence, and if he wasn't too busy taking a page out of Quentin Tarantino's book (Quentin Tarantino has a hard enough time trying to be Quentin Tarantino as it is!), there might actually be something of genuine worth here. 

Devils Of Wars is by no means scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of bad films. There is the odd silly bit to invoke a giggle, and a hilarious sex scene in particular gave me one of my best laughs from a film this year, and as such, I'd be amiss to deny that there will be some who can get a certain level of Room-esque ironic humour from the film. For me though, it's still for the most part a really awful movie. Just about everything, from the script to the acting to the music to the direction and all the contingent elements that make up Devils Of War are just of the lowest order. It tries to riff off of the memory of far greater films, and having no legs of it's own to stand up on, it falls flat on it's face. A basterd-spawn of Quentin Tarantino and Quentin Tarantino (by way of all his favourite filmmakers!), Devils Of War fails in pretty much all regard.

The Thin White Dude's Prognosis - 1.7/10

The Thin White Dude's Self-Diagnosis - Hungry (been eating like a horse lately, though thankfully my metabolism hasn't caught onto that one yet, mwahah!)

Devils Of War Trailer

The Thin White Dude's Guide To Alternative Halloween Movies

The Thin White Dude's Reviews - Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2: Revenge Of The Leftovers

Directed by: Cody Cameron

Kris Pearn

Produced by: Pam Marsden

Kirk Bodyfelt

Screenplay by: John Francis Daley

Jonathan Goldstein

Erica Rivinoja

Story by: Phil Lord

Chris Miller

Erica Rivinoja

Based on: Characters created by Judi Barrett

Ron Barrett

Starring: Bill Hader

Anna Faris

James Caan

Andy Samberg

Neil Patrick Harris

Benjamin Bratt

Terry Crews

Will Forte

Kristen Schaal

Music by: Mark Mothersbaugh

Editing by: Stan Webb

Studio: Sony Pictures Animation

Distributed by: Colombia Pictures

Release date(s): September 27, 2013 (United States)

October 18, 2013 (Northern Ireland/Ireland, limited release)

October 25, 2013 (United Kingdom, general release)

Running time: 95 minutes

Country: United States

Language: English

Production budget: $78 million

Box-office revenue (as of publication): $123, 809, 559

It's a historic moment for a movie nerd like me anytime we get a DVD case. It gives us the opportunity not only to slow down and stop buying so many bloody films, but also gives us loads of time to occupy ourselves archiving it and sorting it out. Another thing that comes with the archiving is that I get to reflect upon the many great movies I have seen over the years, and as such I will say this, while it won't be happening until next year realistically, I plan on putting out a top one hundred greatest films list, most likely in my annual post-Oscars hiatus. If there's ever a time to look out on this blog, it's now, because I'm going to be doing a good bit more above and beyond simply reviewing new movies, but, as ever, keep your eyes posted!

Today's film served up on the plate is Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2: Revenge Of The Leftovers. The marketing department seems unsure as to what to call the film, so I've referred to it in title by the full name and subtitle, but from here on, I will refer to it as Cloudy 2. The first film, based on the book by Judi and Ron Barrett, was a surprise hit and a real gem, a movie of real invention and outright hilarity, described as Lynchian and Dali-esque by Mark Kermode in relation to just how surreal and bonkers it is. Picking up right where the first left off, after Flint Lockwood (Bill Hader) has saved the world, his idol and super-inventor Chester V (Will Forte), the CEO of Live Corp, is entrusted with cleaning the island of Swallow Falls, relocating Flint and his friends to San Franjose, California. Chester then invites Flint to work at Live Corp. After a botched explosion with one of his inventions during a promotion ceremony, Chester, whose cleanup teams have been attacked by monstrous cheeseburgers and various other creatures, tasks Flint with returning to the island and finding his FLDSMDFR invention, which appears to influencing the growth of a new jungle-like environment in the place of Swallow Falls.

Starting the good about Cloudy 2, the expressive ingenuity in the animation that was present in the original is brought over to the sequel. I've always liked the character designs (Flint's dad Tim, whose features consist of a monobrow, a square nose and a moustache, is a personal favourite), but the highlight is the world creating. The flora and fauna of the former Swallow Falls is this amazingly crafted hybrid of vegetation and vegetables, and is crafted in an imaginative and thoughtful way. Furthermore, the fact that they are able to get over what are more or less anthropomorphised strawberries and marshmallows as immensely cute characters is an achievement in and of itself. Many elements of the script too are noteworthy in a positive manner. The food puns, referring to buffaloafs, watermelephants and how Tim has a leek in his boat are resplendent, but never teeter over into tedium, and some of the dialogue is very funny. The way in which certain scenes are structured is intelligent too. For instance, during a scene when Tim talks to Flint, what would normally be your bog-standard basil exposition scene is kept lively by an open door which shows in our peripheral vision the poor monkey Steve being tormenting himself with the task of putting out a candle which won't do so. Also, strangely the movie manages to use the island of food 'monsters' in such a way that they become metaphorical. It turns into a movie about environmentalism, deforestation and the protection of animal rights, with these creatures merely being animals stuck in the middle of the squabbling of petty human beings. It's quite something on the part of the folks involved here that I'm able to get all this out of what is essentially food, and at it's best points, it reminds of some of the thematic content touched upon in Steven Spielberg's often maligned but quite underrated sequel to Jurassic Park, The Lost World: it doesn't who, what, why or how these animals were brought into the world, they're here now, so let's treat them with some respect and kindness. Another of the things good about Cloudy 2 is the voice cast. The returning Bill Hader does a fine job of eulogising the essence of the everyman protagonist, who is also not without his neuroses and eccentricities, not as far down that line as Woody Allen, but along those lines. Anna Faris is also full of conviction as the sassy and spunky Sam Sparks, and James Caan's tersely ironic and dry, yet sympathetic father Tim as I mentioned earlier is a real pleasure. Andy Samberg's Baby Brent is as crazy as ever, and Neil Patrick Harris once again manages to pull off the unenviable job of having to put both a lot expression and no expression into the monosyllabic monkey Steve. Terry Crews does a solid job taking over from Mr. T as Officer Earl, and while I missed Bruce Campbell's Mayor (my favourite character of the first), Will Forte, who in a live-action format is normally a pain, is engaging, believable and whose voice would make it hard to locate a place of origin, which is appropriate for the mysterious nature of Chester V. Finally, it must be hard to follow on from what Phil Lord and Chris Miller did with the first (and I hope they do with The Lego Movie), but Cody Cameron and Kris Pearn do a fine job of not only maintaining a consistent level of connectivity with first, but also establishing their own individual voices. Keeping the outright bonkers level of eccentricity that the original had but making this it's own beast, Cloudy 2 is a very good movie.

Despite the fact I found Cloudy 2 to be a refreshing and engaging animated comedy, it's not perfect by any stretch, and has a number of flaws that while not large enough to really drag it down, all add up to make it a less-than great film. For instance, I mentioned some aspects of the script as praiseworthy, but like A Belfast Story, the central drive of the film, which is essentially a coming-of-age story, is perfunctory and troublesome. The first Cloudy film followed Flint Lockwood in a sort-of bildungsroman-esque story in which he finally grew up, but the second one essentially says "remember how he grew up? He didn't really!" Thus, it does feel like it's at times repeating itself and treading on well-walked waters. Also, much as I enjoyed the dressing, as opposed to the dressing-up, you can put whatever you want onto Cloudy 2 but it is still a nuts and bolts movie at heart. Furthermore, while not an outright irritating the way some music is, the choices made for songs on the soundtrack and the original score are too suggestive of a happy, cheery attitude. Don't get me wrong, I'm not endorsing sour grapes by any means, but I just don't like it when any movie tells me to be happy. I like Mark Mothersbaugh and Devo back to the Mongoloid days, but the score is just too on the fence, and some of the songs, particularly the closing song, La Dee Dee by Cody Simpson, are just too kooky and breezy for their own good. Now, I think Jocko Homo in this would have been the tipping point towards insanity!

Cloudy 2 has its flaws in a script that repeats itself (particularly with regards to the coming-of-age story) and that it is a nuts-and-bolts story at it's heart. Also, the score and soundtrack are too suggestive of a jocular attitude, and I don't appreciate being force-fed happiness. That said, Cloudy 2 is a very enjoyable film. The animation is of a high standard, especially in the creation of the flora and fauna of the jungle world that has taken over Swallow Falls. There are moments of intelligence in the script, in the use food puns that actually work, the layered jokes that often have more than one thing happening at once and the fact that it's fundamentally a movie about environmentalism, deforestation and the protection of animal rights. The voice cast are of a consistently high standard, and the directors Cody Cameron and Kris Pearn do a good job of taking the reigns with the Cloudy story. An engaging and layered enviro-kids comedy.

The Thin White Dude's Prognosis - 7.0/10

The Thin White Dude's Self-Diagnosis - Sweet (got a nice package from Amazon there featuring said DVD-case, CM Punk: Best In The World, Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind, My Neighbour Totoro and Hatchet Job, the new book by Dr. Kermode)

P.S. The Paul McCartney song, New, is good

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2: Revenge Of The Leftovers Trailer


The Thin White Dude's Guide To Alternative Halloween Movies

The Thin White Dude's Reviews - A Belfast Story

Directed by: Nathan Todd

Produced by: Shelly Jackson

John Todd

Screenplay by: Nathan Todd

Starring: Colm Meaney

Malcolm Sinclair

Tommy O'Neill

Patrick Rocks

Damien Hasson

Susan Davey

Maggie Cronin

Tim McGarry

Music by: Nick Glennie-Smith

Mac Quayle

Cinematography by: Peter Holland

Editing by: John Wright

Studio: Adnuco Pictures

Distributed by: Kaleidoscope Entertainment

Release date(s): September 20, 2013 (Northern Ireland and Ireland)

October 25, 2013 (United Kingdom)

Running time: 99 minutes

Country: Ireland

Language: English

Production budget: (N/A)

Box-office revenue (as of publication): (N/A)

Alright there, proverbial preamble by yours truly, yadda yadda yadda. Slow weekend with work (again!), but I suppose that's the nature of the beast in private contracting: peaks and troughs. Still, it has given me plenty of chance to see new movies and old, and as such I can promise reviews for plenty of films this month and I'm gonna putting that article on Lucio Fulci's Gates Of Hell trilogy soon. Also, I watched Suspiria for the first time yesterday, and I have to say it was a mind-blowing assault on the senses. I'm not gonna get too much into it, but as an Argento fan I have to say that nothing could have prepared me for what I saw, and it was a tremendous bit of filmmaking. With that in mind, an article on Dario Argento will be posted somewhere down the line. Although the primary topic on this blog is reviewing contemporary films, I'll try on occasion to put out articles on different subjects within the realm of film, so, for all the latest (and greatest) in film, keep your eyes posted. 

So, today's review (and the second movie in a row without a Wikipedia article for reference sake!) is A Belfast Story. With a name like that, you'd think, and of course it is set in Belfast, a little place in Northern Ireland that has at times a shoddy international reputation but has since the 1998 Good Friday Agreement moved forward significantly into a peace process. It's just not being gone about the right way, ahem! It also happens to be the place on this planet I call home, and looking at the UK release date for the film (October 25th), it seems we've got the film a month early. The film is written and directed by local debutant Nathan Todd, it stars Colm Meaney as a weary detective on the hunt for the murderers of ex-IRA paramilitaries, the Chief Constable (Malcolm Sinclair) anxious of the possibility of retaliation and the reigniting of regular terrorist activity (and yes, I will use the word terrorist!). Writer-director Todd caused a stir in the press packet he sent out for the film, which featured duct tape, a bag of nails and a balaclava, losing PR film Way To Blue and having Kaleidoscope (the distributor) come out and say they had nothing to with this. Now, while plenty of bleeding hearts are bleating about insensitivity and being offended, they probably need to release that they are being played like an accordion, because nothing drums up publicity like a moral stir, with words like 'controversial.' Best to leave all judgement of character aside, and just get to reviewing the movie. Like so!

Starting with the good about A Belfast Story, I must say that it is an interesting way to start the movie with an animated title sequence involving a visual history of the conflict(s) in these parts. Not only is it something which has been neglected of late in terms of opening a film (the only title sequence that stands out in recent memory is that of David Fincher's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo), but it sets up the historiography and thematic content of the movie. As far as the acting goes, Colm Meaney is the obvious highlight. He is well-cast as the dreary detective, groaning and drawling with great eloquence. I talked about being able to listen Malcolm McDowell in Sanitarium, believe me, Meaney could have been talking nonsense and I still probably would have listened to it. Also, in the physical sense, his burly frame and slumped shoulders make for a character as aged and world-weary as the tired old squabbles themselves. Perhaps the most interesting thing that the movie does is that it actually tries to challenge the politics of the nation and propose a thesis of sorts. This isn't the type of Belfast-minstrels that you get with many of these IRA-glory baiting movies; it actually has the gonads to take a stand and say, well, perhaps these guys deserved what they're getting. It's posing questions and moral quandaries ("Nobody is ever happy until their grieving again.") that A Belfast Story does best. Also, in the murders there is an intelligent element of black humour, playing up each of the victims' history and their past transgressions, creating a really gallows sense of irony. It's also a well-shot film, with DP Peter Holland clearly employing his skills in lighting, showing Belfast in all its drabness. Unlike all the ridiculous Our Time, Our Place advertisements, which do nothing to inspire confidence in our cultural identity, Holland's Belfast is appropriately full of dark shadows and alleys, giving it, at it's best moments, a noir feel. Whatever way Holland has shot it, it has just the right level of neutrality in the lens' used and the lighting. Finally, Nathan Todd as a director keeps A Belfast Story on a consistent line throughout. From a directing standpoint, it's a solid debut, carried with relative conviction from the beginning to it's conclusion. 

However, despite there being good elements to A Belfast Story, there are perhaps an equal amount of negative things to be said about the film. As I said, I respected the fact that it poses moral quandaries and has a gallows humour, but despite this, it is a relatively uninventive film. Despite his solid role as a director, Todd's script has numerous deficiencies. The characters are more or less cyphers for the moral arguments, and the fact is you just don't get any real impression of them being people that inhabit the film's world. Furthermore, it is for all intents and purposes a run of the mill, murder-by-numbers thriller at it's heart, and brings nothing new to the table. You can put a pink bow on it (or in the case of the poster, a shamrock), but it's still pretty ugly, turgid work. The ending too is sloppy, ditching it's objective stance for clear Q&A "we'll pose the questions and tell you the answers" mantras, giving the characters no sense of conclusion and a horribly rushed deus ex machina when taken into the context of the conflict. In most other movies, you could go "what the hey!", but the fact is they're the ones who bring up the context, so it's their own fault! Also, while we have Colm Meaney doing his earnest to convince, a number of the featured players are terrible, seemingly plucked out of the Eisensteinian school of acting, which consists of "you, that face! You, that face!" In particular, Damien Hasson and Susan Davey, who are given nothing roles for a start and are supposed to be a sort-of representation of the younger generation, are woeful, lacking any genuine conviction, coming across as lacking in the necessary tools to convey any real feeling. Also, Nick Glennie-Smith and Mac Quayle's work in the music department undercuts things way too much. I appreciate the many folk and musical traditions of my country, but there really is no need for all the fiddles of the world to be played in moments where silence is golden. It's in that classic vein of music force-feeding the audience, and speaking of dressing up, you can give them any instrument you want, but I'll still recognise the Emotional Heartstrings Orchestra (EHO) when I hear 'em. 

The greatest irony about the cultural depictions of Northern Ireland is that it is people from outside this country who have done the best at portraying it. Sure, there's been In The Name Of The Father, Mickeybo & Me and Hunger, but the fact is is that the best films about the country and/or The Troubles are Paul Greengrass' Bloody Sunday and Alan Clarke's devastating Elephant, for my money the definitive word on The Troubles. If the Dutch Paul Verhoeven can direct the definitive word on eighties-America (RoboCop), why can't Englishmen do the same for us? Unfortunately, for all the title sequences, Colm Meaney's, moral quandaries, strong cinematography and solid direction from Nathan Todd, A Belfast Story does nothing to add to the cultural depiction of Northern Ireland. The script is murder-by-numbers, with a preposterously ill-timed deus ex machina, and some of the acting is terribly lacking in conviction, with a score that tries to force-feed the audience their emotions way too much. Despite this, the movie must be judged as it stands as a movie alone, and it's a decent one somewhere down the middle, however flawed.

The Thin White Dude's Prognosis - 5.2/10

The Thin White Dude's Self-Diagnosis - Anticipating (a box of Pringles!)

A Belfast Story Trailer

Alan Clarke's Elephant


The Thin White Dude's Guide To Alternative Halloween Movies